As a young adult I gave little energy to the holiday season. My family dynamics were complicated and I wanted to distance myself from any sense of loss by devaluing this time of year entirely. There is a speech I have memorized for every major holiday about capitalism, the destruction of an indigenous people in the name of personal privilege, and the dogma of a religion that bullied and co-opted many other spiritual practices and cultures in order to gain world domination. There is truth to those narratives but not all of the truth. There is value buried under the bullshit.
Baby step by baby step I have tried to reclaim the seasonal holidays in a way that is meaningful to me so that I can share in the recovery, rest, and communal solidarity that can be observed in a quiet and simple way. In fact, returning to the holidays with less attachment to the status quo, I am free to build the traditions of my family in a way that works for us. Some of my friends are less lucky. They had lovely childhoods with giant families and elaborate traditions which involved a great deal of stress, people pleasing, and over indulging (partially due to the stress). They want to uphold the construct, believing it to be part of their loving connection to family, so they struggle through this season.
Regardless of where you fall on the holiday spectrum, rejecter, embracer, over-achiever…I have some suggestions for you this year to help you stay centered. They are easy tangible actions that don’t require much discipline or forethought.
1. Take time:
to go outside, walk, and breathe. Don’t beat yourself up about maintaining your fitness regimen or your yoga asana practice. If you find the time, by all means, get on the mat, but don’t waste energy worrying about it. The easiest thing you can do on your own or with friends and family is take a 30 minute walk each day.
2. Drink Plenty:
of water. If you like herbal tea, drink the hell out of it. First thing when you wake up drink warm water with lemon. Do this before the coffee or tea. In between each adult beverage drink a glass or water (fizzy if yer fancy). Before bed have one last hot herbal tea.
3. Disconnect:
from your cell phone for a day or even a few hours. No really, turn it off. Put it away. As you disconnect from the virtual world you reconnect to the physical world. If you find it tiresome, take a nap.
4. Load your plate:
with veggies and protein first. After that have the stuffing, mashed potatoes, rolls….what ever you want. Don’t go back for thirds but if you do, walking and napping might be even more important.
5. Enjoy the sweetness:
of taking time to be with your self and others in a nonjudgemental way. Take a moment to subscribe meaning to the holiday that is personal to you and remember that gratitude is expressed not by doing but by stopping to feel the fullness of our full and complete lives.
Good Luck,
KJ